The feeling came back. And as usually, yes this really really really hurt me. About three days ago, my ex came back and ask me if I still loving him, and yes. I still loving you no matter what. As long as God allowing this feeling to you, as long as that I will stay here and loves you.

One month ago, I said I hated you. I hate you because you come, and go so easily like a Grenade song by Bruno Mars, "Easy come, easy go thats just how you life oh take take take it all but you never give" ok done. You reach out me about three days. And we had a cute text message, we text about 24/7, we left our works just to spend a time together. On the night of thursday, you were broke up with you girlfriend. And the next day, we go out together. I just cant believe that I can hang up with you again after all of this. You said that you still loves me, you want me back, oh dear this is what all I want. But then, I dont know why I just cant accept you back. I dont know why, I just afraid to take the risk after four time you had the chance. I afraid that you will left me again, I afraid if I cant handle you and our relay. I afraid that things will change. I totally afraid to take the risk. So ask you just to be a close friend and its better. After that, you seems like in a badmood. You ignore me. I try to ask you why, and you said "i'm okay, i'm just tired. Lets go home" and we go back to the home. At night, he didnt text me like usually. And I text him why, then what he said "we are only friend, so no need to texting everyday like a couple" only God know how i felt. I lost him again, in the same time I really hate that guy because he leave me like a rubbish, I wish night and he doesnt reply me. So I challenge myself to hate him. And yeahh, its work yeah! And its works only a few days. Then, I came back to the old me who always feel depressed.

Holly holly, i can go day by day without him, whatta beautiful life I had? Day by day I'm walking with a big really smile on my face until he came back three days ago! He ask me that I still loves him, and yes what I said. He bring back shit loads of bullshit and memories. He bring back my fucking feelings. He gave me a hope. Bitch, I love you dear, i try whatever ways to hate you but I cant, i just can hate you for a days, then loving you back. I dont know why I cant hate you after all you've done to me but i'm here still loving you. This what he said to me ;


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